"you're fake" "that's crazy" "you switched up " " oh you ______ now?"
No matter how it's said , these are the ways people describe their disapproval for the changes you've made in your life. We try so hard to never switch up and to never change , but the truth is if you aren't ever evolving ...
Some people have a habit of becoming so comfortable in their mess that they mistake others' growth as an insult , you know those people : " She thinks she's better because...." or "Ever since you left the city you ..."
Yeah , those people. I've shy'd away from change, stunted my own growth a few times and maintained modesty on the strength of sparing the feelings of others. For what ?
To address those issues , I've had the pleasure of learning to be unapologetic with mine. No more trying to bring back old habits and re-spark old flames in order to maintain the image that others once loved. I've learned that if you aren't growing with me , we're growing apart. As harsh as it may seem , it's a lesson we all must learn: Stop holding ships (relation/partner/friend) that are meant to dwindle, by the string and get a grip...no pun intended. I mean , growing together doesn't even have to mean having the same ideas or goals , it simply means having the desire to know more , do more and be more than what you've been.
I used to be a pushover , I let people's negativity infiltrate my think-spaces and a host of many other things . I started to feel like I was giving half of me in friendships , relationships and even to myself. I was always halfway present in the crowds I used to hang with , not because I loved them any less but because we were no longer on the same page. Hunty ,trust me , I sat sometimes and cried because I no longer fit the expectations of others until I realized that I surpassed them. I've had to hip people to the new me and while it's hard to say goodbye to those you love , you realize it's harder to put yourself at the bottom of your to-do list.
That old flame that hits your phone saying "you used to you used to " or that friend that remind you of when you used to draw your brows on with black pencil (me). "Ayo, I did some things but that's the old me"- Kanye West
yes you got a new car. yes you left that no good . yes you used to sell drugs now you're the youth pastor . yes you stopped drinking . yes you are conscious . yes you are a yogi who drinks tea and meditates. if you gave up the partying and gave your life to Christ GO YOU ! yup , you wear less and go out more. YASSSS yuhhhhs yuhhhhhhhs.
It is your duty to flex as hard as you can because you've worked hard not to be the same , not to think the same or even surround yourself with the same energies. My friends can tell you any day that my mantra is that I can change my mind like I change my underwear . People are so sold on structure that they put themselves into a box and there's nothing square about me honey.
So as I roll my eyes and sip my tea :
Do your thing ma . Stop taking constructive criticism from destructive folk. learn life. change. grow.neverstopevolving.