I knew that I was gaining weight ,but it wasn't until people began to notice that it truly mattered to me. I was used to my weight going up and down and I was too familiar with the daily struggle to pull my pants over my hips. As my freshman year of college carried on , I watched the pounds pack into my face and arms , I couldn't get with it.
Knowing that I would never be thin , I had the nerve to fall into a slight slump . My posture , my attitude and the way I dressed suggested that I was content , but I grew angry with myself for simply not understanding what was happening. I was never satisfied and I refused to wear anything that would reveal my new accompanying fat .
My arms .No matter what happened , I couldn't escape the deep hate for my arms. Later, I found my mother suffered from the same complex when she was my age , which eased the pain for only a short while. I hated wearing short sleeves and halters and my swimsuits were paired with cover-ups.
Eventually , my weight began to relocate . Though I am not where I want to be completely , my period of insecurity forced me to evaluate things that are bigger. I snapped back and asked 'Michelle , are you actually doing this right now?" . I know that I am beautiful , and well aware that I wasn't skinny. I don't desire to be. The biggest lesson in this was that I had to learn to love myself regardless of scars , weight gain , hairloss , or any thing that may happen over time.
I pray that if you are or have ever gone through a time such as this , you see beyond these things and are encouraged to make the change. You are in control , and for those things that we must accept , learn to love yourself unconditionally because you are your biggest cheerleader . Don't allow yourself to be consumed in your insecurities but rather look deep within and see how beautiful you are. You are beautifully and wonderfully made . If noone else told you today , You are SERVING honey :)